


I Believe

by GalaxyAqua



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, basically: training trio and also kiyo is there for no reason, but it's a stupid reason and therefore will not be counted as one, ok there is a reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 09:22:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20387404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyAqua/pseuds/GalaxyAqua
Summary: “Okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but you gotta hear me out.” Momota grins, before ducking his head and whispering, “I think my time has finally come, guys. See, I think– no, I know Shinguuji is an alien in disguise and I’m gonna prove it once and for all.”“You have got to be kidding me.” Harukawa says. She looks as though she cannot physically comprehend how great Momota’s deduction is, and she’s so utterly floored by it that all her excitement about the surprise alien discovery has left her in a state of emotionless shock. Probably.





	I Believe

**Author's Note:**

> so, quick explanation since this fic is gonna need one, I wrote this in 2017/18 to get a feel for training trio dynamics (and for some reason, kiyo is there because he haunts me everywhere) and recently found it again and basically this was written based off an old shitpost which is why it probably reads kind of like one too. hope you enjoy!

“Okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but you gotta hear me out.”

Saihara and Harukawa share a look of mutual apprehension, though it’s Saihara that humors him in the end, asking almost cautiously, “What is it, Momota-kun?”

“I’m glad you asked!” Momota grins, before ducking his head and whispering, “I think my time has finally come, guys. See, I think– no, I _know_ Shinguuji is an alien in disguise and I’m gonna prove it once and for all.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Harukawa says. She looks as though she cannot physically comprehend how great Momota’s deduction is, and she’s so utterly floored by it that all her excitement about the surprise alien discovery has left her in a state of emotionless shock. Probably.

“No, listen! I’m serious about this!” Momota hisses, still whispering in his this-is-a-top-secret-conspiracy voice. “First things first, hasn’t he ever referred to you, or a bunch of people as ‘humans’? And say shit like ‘wow humans are so interesting’? Doesn’t that seem weird to you?”

“Um, actually, last time I checked, we _are _human beings, so it’s not that strange,” Saihara reasons, eyebrow tentatively raised. “Besides, not that I’m one to talk but, there are, well, stranger things about Shinguuji-kun… that you should be more concerned about… don’t you think?”

“Aha!” Momota points at him and winks. “That’s exactly what he wants you to believe! He distracts you with his creepy weirdo schtick, so you don’t think it’s that weird when he does weird things! But that’s just the thing – by calling us ‘humans’ all the time, he’s already slipped up! He’s never referred to himself as a human before, so he must not be human! Check and mate, if you ask me!”

Harukawa frowns. “Alright, but have you ever said something along the lines of ‘yes, I am Kaito, a human’, because that statement on its own is pretty suspicious, regardless of what you seem to think Shinguuji is or isn’t.”

“Psh, no, it’s not suspicious! Because yes, I am Kaito, a human,” Momota confirms with complete confidence. He smiles at the way her face darkens, already hearing the “do you want to die?” before it even leaves her mouth.

“Do you want to–”

“Not this time, Harumaki!” He interrupts, turning his pointing finger towards her. “Have I fulfilled your not-an-alien criteria now, non-believer? Can I continue with my case?”

“Yes, you can, Momota-kun…” Saihara sighs, before Harukawa can make any further jab at him. That’s his sidekick, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal – always ready to help him when times get tough. Good ol’ Saihara.

Momota slaps a palm onto the back of each of their heads without warning, bringing them in for a group huddle, mostly because he’s getting sick of whispering and because group huddles mean teamwork is _happening, _hell yeah. Gotta love teamwork. That sweet, sweet smell of cooperation. Hell yeah.

“Okay, so.” He clears his throat. “Since you’re both so excited, I’m going to let you in on my big, grand foolproof plan.”

“No.” Harukawa answers immediately.

“What do you mean _‘no’_?! You haven’t even heard the plan yet!”

“And I don’t want to. I’m leaving.” She starts to shake her head, trying to butt his hand off, but the great Momota Kaito never backs down from a challenge. He manages to stick to Harukawa, almost pulling on the scrunchies in her hair until she grumbles, “Can you please let me go?”

“Only if you listen to my plan.” Momota replies, shooting her with the most charming grin he can muster.

She rolls her eyes and stops struggling. “Fine, I’ll listen, but it’s probably going to be something like ‘detain Shinguuji and interrogate him by asking him questions about how to be human’ which doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience for anyone, except probably Shinguuji himself.”

“What?!” Momota shouts, accidentally banging Saihara and Harukawa’s heads together. “How did you figure out my plan so quickly?!” Then his indignation melts away into a grin and he shoots her a thumbs up. “Guess great minds really do think alike!”

“Oh my god.” Harukawa buries her face in her hands like it’s going to make everything around her go away. She’s mumbling something like “this is even worse than I thought” but Momota elects to ignore whatever that is.

Instead he looks at Saihara. Saihara is clutching his forehead, eyes shut tight.

“Wait, _no!_” Saihara says suddenly, looking up in alarm as the realization hits him like a beam of lightning. “No, Momota-kun, you can’t do that! He’s our classmate…!”

“There’s nothing that the Luminary of the Stars can’t do! I’m getting to the bottom of this, Shuuichi,” Momota declares. “I will go where no man has gone before!”

“How are you even going to – ” Saihara cuts himself off as he sees Harukawa start to leave. “No, Harukawa-san, wait, don’t go, I’m sure we can work this out together.” To some, it may have looked like a cry for help, but to Momota, it looked like Saihara was doing his best to convince Harukawa to discuss the finer details of the plan. Good ol’ Saihara.

“That’s right, Harumaki, majority rules! If Shuuichi and I are doing it, then you’re doing it as well. Come on, it’ll be worth it, I promise.”

“No means no. I’m not going to waste my time on something so stupid.”

Momota frowns, then looks at Saihara for help. Saihara flinches.

“Uh… um, I never agreed to this either, Momota-kun.”

“… and here I thought my sidekicks would understand.” The astronaut sighs, but doesn’t keep pushing the point. “Fine, whatever, I’ll do it myself. I’ll show you guys. I’ll open your eyes to the truth!”

Saihara looks conflicted, as if he’s not quite sure if he can trust Momota to do that on his own – which is ridiculous, since he’s plenty trustworthy! – and it is then that Harukawa takes another step. Saihara quickly latches onto her arm.

“What?” She asks, clearly unimpressed with the meagre attempt to make her stay.

Realizing what he’s doing, Saihara quickly pulls away with an apology, then turns his wide eyes onto Momota and blurts, “Okay, okay, I’ll go with you, but only if you don’t mention anything about aliens to Shinguuji-kun. _Please. _We’ll never hear the end of it.”

“What?” Momota asks, and despite being proud of Saihara for coming around, he’s the one left confused. “How am I supposed to figure out if he’s an alien if I don’t ask?”

“It’s called subtlety.” Harukawa says with yet another roll of her eyes. “Though I don’t think you’ve ever heard of it.”

Momota feels his indignance level rise again, and he thinks these two are lucky he likes them a whole lot, or they’d definitely be feeling his wrath.

“Hey! Nobody knows subtlety like Momota Kaito!” He protests, jerking a thumb to his chest. “Just leave it to me!”

Saihara and Harukawa share a final exasperated look. The detective’s expression is almost begging Harukawa to cave, but she remains resolute in her decision.

“Good luck,” Harukawa tells him.

“Thanks.” Saihara says tiredly.

He looks as though he’s resigned himself to his fate – maybe wondering if he really should just leave Momota to his machinations but he doesn’t terribly want to subject his wonderful best friend to an hour or so of Shinguuji’s very likely meddling (“He thinks I’m an alien? Interesting deduction, I shall see how to best convince him of this tale, ah, how wondrous humanity is, they twist the truth so easily to suit their satisfaction”, or something along those lines, thinking like Shinguuji is kind of terrifying actually, he’s never going to do that again) – so, he waits.

Momota is just glad he has someone in his side, because alien encounters are rumored to be a little scary, if he thinks about it.

Guess that’s another point to the ‘Shinguuji is an alien’ checklist.

And one point for mankind.

* * *

Come Monday, Saihara finds himself in Classroom 2-A, watching a painful student interaction he really wished he didn’t agree to come for.

“So how do you eat?” Momota asks, as though that were a perfectly normal question to ask another classmate.

Shinguuji, clearly unimpressed by the question but curious to see where it leads, answers, “With my mouth, Momota-kun. I believe this to be common sense, don’t you? What else do you suggest I eat with, if not my mouth?”

“Do you even have a mouth? I’ve never seen it.”

“That is because I am wearing a mask, Momota-kun. Do you have eyes, pray tell?”

“Stop being a smartass and eat this cookie!” Momota demands, putting a cookie on the table in front of Shinguuji, who has been more or less confined to a chair and forced to sit at a desk.

_Please don’t do this, Momota-kun, _Saihara begs internally. _Let’s just let Shinguuji-kun go, and pretend none of this ever happened._

He stacks another one on top, muttering something about five second rules, and Shinguuji only chuckles to himself, clearly delighted by… something.

_Harukawa was right,_ he realizes as Shinguuji stares at the cookies in what can only be described as thorough amusement. _Strangely enough, he really is enjoying this._

“My apologies, Momota-kun, I am not in the mood for sweets right now so I am going to have to regretfully decline.”

“Ugh,” Momota groans, palming his face. “Just eat the damn cookie! This isn’t a game, alright!?”

“Kukuku… I have every reason to believe this is a game, do I not? You and Saihara-kun seized me in the hallway when nobody was looking… and brought me here, in isolation, to ask me questions and offer me food. Does that not sound like a game to you, Momota-kun?”

His eyes crinkle like he’s smiling, but Saihara can’t tell because of the mask that’s covering his mouth.

“Or perhaps, you have lured me here to kill me? If so, then is Saihara-kun your accomplice? … or will he betray you? Each outcome would be truly beautiful to envision – I only regret that you chose me as the victim so I could not be there to see it.”

Momota blinks owlishly, frustration forgotten in his confusion. “Can you chill for like five seconds? We’re not gonna kill you – that’d just be dumb. If you really are an alie–”

“Friend! He means friend!” Saihara shouts suddenly. He lowers his voice once he’s sure Momota isn’t going to continue, and says more gently, “If you’re really a friend of ours, Shinguuji-kun, you should be able to trust that we won’t try to hurt you, right?”

Shinguuji tips his head. “Is that so, Saihara-kun? How delightful. I am in no position to disagree, however, even if you believe us to be friends, this concept of ‘friends’ is not always trustworthy in every instance. In fact, many stories of friendship demonstrate this and the examples are too numerous to name. I can, however, elaborate on a recent tale I have been studying, that illustrated the raw betrayal of one’s friend yet it was so uplifting, you must understand –”

“I don’t want any stories, dammit,” Momota cuts in with a grumble. “Do you not eat human food? Is that why you won’t take the cookie?”

“Human food.” Shinguuji repeats, clearly intrigued by his choice of phrasing. “What, pray tell, are you implying by this statement?”

“Momota’s had a long day,” Saihara tries to reason.

“Sure,” Momota agrees flippantly. “What he said.”

“Are you perhaps under the speculation that I am not human?” Shinguuji asks, sounding even more curious, and perhaps a touch impressed. He really shouldn’t be, Saihara laments, because that doesn’t help his case at all.

“Ah, nope. No. Nothing like that.” The detective stammers. “Nothing like that happening here. Don’t worry about it.”

“It is quite alright, you know,” Shinguuji continues. “Why, the other day, Saihara-kun likened me to a lovestruck maiden—”

“No, I didn’t!” Saihara interrupts, forgetting his manners in defence of his honor. When Shinguuji and Momota both look at him, however, he shrinks into himself again. “I didn’t… say that…”

“Your defiance! Your denial! Yes, show me all your emotions! Your reactions are so splendid,” He embraces himself tenderly. “Ah, humanity is ever beautiful.”

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this, ‘fess up,” Momota grabs Shinguuji by the shoulders and shakes him, albeit light enough not to hurt him which Saihara thinks is worth giving him credit for, though he soon loses said credit by shouting, “Are you an alien or not?!”

“Please release Shinguuji-kun, you’re scaring him,” Saihara begs him. He doesn’t even care that Momota’s broken the one condition he set. He’s too mortified by the situation to care.

Then Shinguuji unfortunately decides he’s going to make the situation worse, with the all too thrilled statement of, “On the contrary, Saihara-kun, I am having a wonderful time.”

Saihara sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He really needs to learn how to say ‘no’ next time.

He’d have to ask Harukawa for tips.

* * *

Now, Harukawa doesn’t want anything to do with this.

She knew before this even begun that it was a bad idea – and no amount of unintentional puppy eyes from Saihara is going to budge her from her decision to stay out of all of this; that is final.

She is going to stay right here, in the classroom next door, and make sure nobody dies.

Of course, it’s only natural that the moment she finds a desk to settle on, that she hears Momota bellow out the words she most certainly did not want to hear. They had one condition, not to ask Shinguuji directly of his suspected alien-ism at all costs, and yet… she takes a moment to absorb the situation at hand.

Stupidity. Utter stupidity.

With a light step, she begins to make her way towards the other classroom, not at all fazed by Saihara’s frantic whimpering on the other side. Momota’s yelling is unintelligible, and Shinguuji’s voice is _there _but more like a whisper in comparison.

She takes a deep breath and yanks the door open. “What’s going on?”

When Momota sees her, his expression is so wildly relieved that Harukawa finds herself regretting her entrance and wanting to toss herself out the nearest window to escape it. She doesn’t.

Even worse, when she looks at Saihara, he is so relieved he looks like he’s going to burst into tears at any moment, and Harukawa feels so irreplaceably awkward that the first and only thing she can do is reach out and pat him on the shoulder. The whole room is eerily quiet.

Then, “Oh, how kind of you to join us, Harukawa-san.” Shinguuji says. “Might I say, I do love watching the three of you interact, you have such close bonds with each other that it almost feels too intrusive to watch, but alas,” his arms spread outwards, unfurling, freeing themselves from his lap, “I am bearing witness to it at such a close proximity! What a wondrous turn of events! Do continue your bonding experience. Just pretend I am not here. I insist.”

Momota, Saihara and Harukawa all share a look before turning back to Shinguuji, who has, in a very quick motion, tucked himself back into the desk and is looking prim and proper again. He tilts his head, seemingly amused to have the attention on himself, but repeats in a quieter voice, “Please do not concern yourselves with me, just pretend I am not here. It would be a much more rewarding experience for all of us.”

“Dude…” Momota starts to say, and the guilt that’s trickling into his voice is enough to make Harukawa feel a little of it too. Saihara has gone back to looking between them all uncertainly, as if he’d like to add his own opinion but sharing it requires a level of confidence he doesn’t quite possess. Momota, with likely too much confidence, is the one that continues, “We’re not gonna ignore you.”

“Oh, no, I most certainly do insist.” Shinguuji says. “Though I will offer commentary if you like. I am rather decent at commentating, and enjoy it thoroughly, actually. There was once a time when—”

“No,” Harukawa shoots the idea, and the rest of his sentence, down. All that's left is a moment of silence.

“Look, uh, Shinguuji,” Momota begins, rubbing the back of his neck. “Whether you’re an alien or not, we’re not gonna just pretend you’re not here. We were the ones who — well, Shuuichi and I, _stop _giving me that look, Harumaki — ya know, brought you here, and so that’d just be rude as hell. Guess I should ask just in case but do you, uh, want… to hang out with us?”

“Is alien how I am truly reflected in your eyes? How fascinating… but I am human, I assure you. Unmistakably human, please don’t mistake me for anything else.” Shinguuji tips his hat forward, the shadow of it making his expression look even darker than usual. “In any case, it is interesting to me that you ask that now. You could have simply asked from the beginning. Had it not occurred to you that this alternative would not only have been easier to accomplish but also less alarming for all of us?”

Saihara grimaces, gaze stuck on the ground. “We’re really sorry, Shinguuji-kun.”

Shinguuji’s hands fall back to his elbows, and he closes his eyes. “Not any harm was done, Saihara-kun, it is merely a suggestion. I am honored to have been able to witness such beauty here today. Being with you all… seeing such bonds strengthen and unite over one goal… it is simply incredible! Thank you, all! I am so moved by your friendship! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome?” Momota offers hesitantly, confused.

“Indeed. Ah, is that the time,” Shinguuji utters in a higher voice than usual, maneuvering out of his seat and making his way to the door. “I suppose I should also thank you for this riveting conversation, but I truly must be taking my leave now. There are some matters to be attended to.” He pauses by the doorframe. “And while I don’t believe your intentions to be impure, please do try to at least warn me before you kidnap me next time, if at all possible, of course.”

“Sorry,” Saihara says meekly. “It won’t happen again.”

Harukawa nods, and kicks Momota in the back of the calf.

“What– hey! Okay!” He raises his arms. “Yeah, sorry about all this man, I really didn’t mean to scare ya back there.”

Shinguuji just chuckles – a little unsettlingly – and strides out of the classroom, boots clacking and hair swishing as he twirls and leaves the scene entirely.

“That was needlessly dramatic,” Harukawa comments. “But anyway. What’s the conclusion of this experiment, Momota?”

“Ugh, fine, he’s not an alien.” Momota says, raking his fingers through his hair with a grumpy pout. “Happy now?”

Harukawa doesn’t want to reply so she looks at Saihara.

“Uh,” the detective smiles nervously, “Yeah. Yeah, we’re happy.”

“But!” Momota exclaims, raising his fists excitedly. “Not to worry!”

“I’m always worrying,” Saihara mutters under his breath.

“I have another theory!” Momota announces. “What if _Chabashira _is an alien?!”

Harukawa blinks disbelievingly at him. “I am not even going to dignify that with a proper response.”

“No, wait, I’ve got it all figured out, I don’t think she believes in _men_, but what if that means all men – as in the entire human race? And you’ve seen that thing she wears on her head, right? It’s gotta be a communication device or something.” Momota argues. “And I’ve got a grand plan even bigger and better than the first one! I’ll need Harumaki especially, since we all know what Chabashira’s like.”

Harukawa stares at him blankly.

“Please, Harumaki? You’d do it for me, right?”

Harukawa continues to stare at him blankly.

“Guys, you gotta help me out here, this could be the discovery of the— the whole history of mankind! I definitely need a hand if I don’t want Chabashira to obliterate me. Not that I couldn’t take her on, but you know. We’re here to make friends with aliens, not start galactic wars – wha, hey, why are you looking at me like that? I could totally take her! Want me to prove it? Right here, right now?”

Momota doesn’t wait for a response when he dashes into the hallway and yells, “_Chabashira! _Where the fuck are you?! I just wanna talk! It’s important, I promise!”

Saihara looks as though he’s seen it all when he says, “Rest in peace, Momota-kun.”

“Rest in peace.” Harukawa agrees with a sigh. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s four in the afternoon,” Saihara says, and it’s more a statement than a question.

“I’m going to bed.” She repeats. “Goodnight.”

“Wh– what if Momota-kun needs your–”

“_Goodnight, Saihara_.”

Saihara nods defeatedly. “Goodnight, Harukawa-san. Let’s hope everything solves itself before you wake up again.”

“It won’t.” Harukawa tosses over her shoulder, ever so kindly.

Saihara sighs, bringing his hands to his face and rubbing his temples worriedly. “Let’s just hope.”


End file.
